Starting Conversations: The Real Struggle of Talking (Even as a Bartender)

Let’s be real — starting conversations isn’t easy.You’d think being a bartender would make me some kind of smooth-talking social butterfly, right? Nah. The truth is, I used to be terrible at engaging with people. And honestly? Some days, I still am.

It’s funny when you think about it — I literally get paid to talk for a living, yet half the time, I’m mentally prepping myself just to say, “Hey, how’s your day going?”

I totally get it, though. Talking to people — really talking — can be intimidating. It’s like your brain forgets how to form words when a simple “hello” feels like a performance. Whether it’s a stranger at the grocery store, a coworker, or even your own family, starting conversations can feel like walking a tightrope between “be yourself” and “don’t sound awkward.”

Why Starting Conversations Feels So Hard

Here’s the thing — conversation requires vulnerability. You’re putting a piece of yourself out there, and that can feel uncomfortable.

I talk to people all day at work — customers who come up to the bar looking for a drink, a story, or sometimes just someone to listen. At home, it’s my fiancé, my kids, and the daily chaos of family life.And still, there are days when I don’t feel like I have the words.

But when I think about it, some of my favorite moments come from unexpected conversations — the ones that start small and end up meaning something.

Take my therapist, Will, for example. Man, we’ve had some great talks. Sure, I come in with my problems, but it’s when we drift into real-life stuff that it feels easy.Last week, we got to talking about sneakers — he mentioned wanting the Jordan 1 “Shattered Backboard” for the upcoming Bengals season, and I happened to be rocking my Nike SB x Air Jordan 4 Retro SP Pine Greens.That moment just clicked. Suddenly, I wasn’t overthinking what to say — we were simply talking. And my mood? Instantly lifted.

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How Starting Conversations Can Boost Your Mood

That’s the thing about starting conversations — they’re not just small talk. They’re small steps toward connection, comfort, and sometimes even healing.

You never know what someone might say that shifts your mindset or makes you feel less alone.Even the smallest “how’s it going?” can lead to a laugh, a new perspective, or a reminder that maybe today isn’t so bad after all.

And here’s my advice — start small. Even if that means having a conversation with yourself first.Yeah, I said it. Talk to yourself out loud. In the mirror. And no, that doesn’t make you crazy — it makes you human.

Because the truth is, the hardest part is just starting. Once you break that wall, your world begins to expand. You’ll notice your energy shift, your confidence grow, and maybe, just maybe, your spirit lift a little higher.

“Some nights you pour drinks. Other nights, you pour your thoughts.” – Kidd

So, Start the Conversation — Even If It’s With Yourself

Whether you’re behind a bar, behind a desk, or behind your own fears, I want you to try this week to start just one conversation.

With your barista. With your neighbor. Or even with your reflection.

Every time you start talking, you open a door — to growth, to laughter, or maybe even a little healing.

And if a self-proclaimed introverted bartender like me can do it, trust me — so can you.

Talk soon,

-Zay